5 Years ago...

I was at my lowest point in life at that time when I was 18. I was totally shattered.

But God saw me. His eyes were upon me, a shattered soul and brokenhearted girl.

I borrowed a Bible from a classmate, wanting to know who is this Jesus. It was 1 week before I went to church.

I had my first encounter with the living God. Totally shattered inside out, I had no peace even for 1 second. Tears and sorrow were my friends. Holy Spirit was present with me at that time (though i do not know Him yet)... because when I read the Bible, peace came so strongly upon me. As an unbeliever, I did not know why. But I found an unexplainable peace whenever I read the Bible. I remember I was reading Matthew because I wanted to know about Jesus. I was reading it as a story then, but that peace was so strong that I cannot deny. I began to found myself attached to the Bible, reading it in class & home (because I cannot concentrate in class). All I did was cry, cry, and cry. But once I open the Bible and read it, peace came upon me. God's Word came alive to me... to comfort me. It's not even the information in the Word (if you see Matthew's 1st few chapters, there isn't much encouraging message for broken heart)...but the breathe of God in His Word that touched my being. What an amazing first encounter!

On 22nd August 2004, I went to church with my friend, Daniel. He is also the classmate whom I borrowed the Bible from. I asked him to bring me to his church. I don't know why, being shattered that time, I had a very strong desire to step into a church - any church any denomination. Somehow, I sense that if I enter into any church, God will be there. Finally, that Sunday arrived.

I don't even remember the sermon on that day. But I answered to the alter call. God knew that I do not have the courage to step forward, and the church that I've attended seems to be the exact style for me to receive Jesus into my life. All I had to do was raise my hand when the pastor gave the alter call, and all eyes were closed and heads bowed. After that, a counselor came up to me (instead of people going to the front) and prayed the sinner's prayer with me. (She is like an angel God had sent to me - Ginny.)

To be honest, I was totally in a blur. I don't know that by saying that prayer will get me saved (that time i have no idea what is being 'saved'). It was mixed with lots of emotions, blur-ness, fear (of how my whole family of unbelievers would react), and also God-given-courage when I raised my hand. BUT, not once did I regret giving my life to Jesus!!! Indeed, God is the One who allow salvation to come upon us, not us choosing.

Today is my 5th spiritual birthday. Looking back, I sometimes wonder how will my life be if I do not have God in my life. Probably living and just waiting to die... a concept I had before I was saved... cos I used to wonder "why are we here on earth? just live and wait to die?" hahaha.

Living for 23 years, these 5 years count the most and made me grow the most. The first 18 years of life without God seems so empty when compared to these 5 years. Still, I have a long journey ahead. I totally believe greater things have yet to come. I am looking forward to what's ahead.

On these special day, I want to thank all those brothers & sisters in Christ who had helped me on this journey in the past few years. You know who you are. With you all, this rough journey had been made more endurable.

Also, my sister, who had really made things so much easier at home. I cannot imagine what would it be like to be the only Christian in the entire family. It also made spiritual warfare at home easier because of us 2 in agreement. I thank God for a companion & a sister of sister to walk this journey with me.*hugs*

Above all, I want to thank God for standing by me all these years. His faithfulness, love, mercy and grace are the reason why I am still here today. He saw me through my darkest hour, picked me up when I fell, pull me out from the deepest sea, restored me & healed me. Apart from Him, I can do nothing.

All praise & glory to God the Father, Jesus Christ our Lord, and the Holy Spirit forever!